“Then…”
‘Then’ echoed inside his head as he sat there, knowing that he was facing a choice, a
decision that would perhaps define him. Funny, he had thought that his taking the chance to go
and knock on Noah’s window that first night would be that moment, would be the one thing
that would define who he was but now, now he realized that it was only a prelude to this
moment in time. He lowered his head to stare down at his naked legs crossed in front of him,
his hands rested on them and he could see the slight murmur or vibration of his fingers as his
heart pounded loudly inside of his chest.
How could he let Noah do what he said he’d do if he cared for him? How could he stand by
and let others beat on him or worse if he really felt the way he thought he had felt the
second he had seen Noah coming down the hallway? It was just like he had said, the instant he
saw the smaller figure walking, he felt that hitch in his heart and now, after all that they
had felt he knew that moment hadn’t been an illusion, that it was real, just as Montana had
warned him it would be.
Funny, he could sit here now knowing that what he said next would make or break him as a
person, and yet he could hear his brother’s laugh, see his face smiling as he had explained
to his 13 year old brother how love was a wonderful feeling that filled you with strange new
feelings, that it would soothe you in times of trouble and yet lead you to trouble too because
it was a hard taskmaster. It would demand your best not just once in awhile but always and he
knew now that his love for Noah was just that, demanding of him something he didn’t know if
he could give.
His heart was still now, the beat suddenly quietened down as his spirit ached as he tried to make the right decision. He wasn’t sure which way to turn and then he felt his brother’s presence. His eyes grew moist as he hesitantly lifted his head to gaze outwards, and he saw Noah’s face before him. God how beautiful he looked, so loving, so caring and as he looked at the face he saw his brother’s face too, his own dark eyes piercing with the flame of life inside as he seemed to be
