that.”
“I do, Christ I do Dakota, but I won’t let you sacrifice us because of them. They don’t
deserve it, hell I don’t deserve it, not now, not after tonight, I couldn’t handle it.”
Dakota saw the way Noah’s eyes were glaring, the fire inside flickering with each word that
Noah spoke. It was like tiny bolts of lightning each time he said a word, tiny bolts that
flashed and pierced outwards. His own body ached as he too found the strength to sit up, to
look directly into Noah’s face and as much as he admired the sudden courage he doubted if
Noah could keep it up for long. He had been there, had seen how it wore his own brother down
until finally Montana had simply walked away, beaten and cowed by the ignorance of just a few.
None of his so called friends had dared to stand up to it, the one or two who had thought
about it were quickly shouted down or worse, felt the wrath of those ignorant few. He had seen
it and he knew what to expect, some of that ignorance had spilled out to him, one reason why
he put himself through the torture of living the double life. Why he dated girls when they
revolted him and why he even had sex with them, all so he could spare himself that same
torture that his brother had endured.
“I know that, I know it isn’t right, but fuck what else can we do? I know I couldn’t go
on seeing you without betraying our secret, I know I am not that strong, not around you,
shit… and you know you aren’t either. Christ man, you shot your wad just being next to me
and that was before tonight, how the fuck are you going to control how you feel now? No, this
sucks but…”
“No, I won’t let you, I don’t care what you say, I’ll find a way to control it, just
like you will, please Dakota…”
“I can’t Noah. I don’t care for myself, it is you I care about, and those guys,
they’ll eat you alive. Trust me, I have seen just a hint of that crap, I know what I am
saying…”
