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thought Dakota wanted. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to try and be that, he just didn’t know if he could, if he had what it would take but as he stared into Dakota’s brown eyes, saw the flickering hope growing weaker, he felt a tremble in his body, and without even realizing it he knew he was now standing up.

Dakota saw Noah shake, saw his arm quiver as Noah pushed himself up onto his feet and Dakota could feel his heart trembling, afraid of what was to happen. His mind screamed at him, telling him he should have kept quiet, should have kept his big mouth shut and yet deep down inside, the small tiny frightened voice still spoke up, still haunted his heart with its desire to be heard and he closed his eyes for a second, willing his body to stay still, willing his heart to keep on beating as he felt Noah walk past him towards the tree trunk and the way down.

Tears filled his eyes as he blinked and he was afraid to turn and watch Noah disappear down the tree, afraid to feel the waves of emptiness come back to haunt him as they had ever since Montana had finally ended his suffering. His body shook as he imagined the worse, his eyes finally peering upwards, asking if there would ever be that right person, if there would ever be a chance to stop being so alone when he heard Noah’s small frightened voice calling his name. Dakota turned around to see that Noah hadn’t left; instead he was standing by the rolled up sleeping bags and the wooden box.

Dakota “What?”

Noah “I said can I put these out on the floor, the sleeping bags?”

Dakota “Yeah, uh sure but I thought…”

Noah “That I was leaving?”

 

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