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Dakota “Until I saw you, I never… I mean, until I met you, I didn’t think I could ever love anyone, that when Montana died, my life had died too. Even if I could still walk and stuff, it was like there wasn’t any purpose, any reason… but seeing you, I don’t know, guess its why I showed up at your place, it was like suddenly life didn’t seem so bad, so empty.”

Noah “Really?”

Dakota “Really!”

Noah “But what if, I mean I don’t know if I can do what you want, it hurt so much…”

If only he could say the words, if only he could find the way to tell Noah how he felt, to make him understand what it was that he wanted. In some ways he felt like he was fighting a losing battle, that maybe Noah wasn’t the one, that maybe it was all in his head and that he had built up this image of Noah that was just a fantasy and yet when he looked at him, when he saw how his face stared into his own, he felt hope, felt that there was something there, that it was just that Noah didn’t know how to respond, or that maybe he was just too scared, just as he had been when Montana had shown him how it was, how Montana had held him close, his hand caressing his hair, wiping his tears away. Maybe that was it, maybe he just need to be patient, like Montana had been with him?

Yet too, it felt like maybe Noah didn’t want to know, that maybe Noah didn’t want the same things he did and that maybe, he was wrong, maybe Noah wasn’t the one, that perhaps he just wanted someone to pop him? He just didn’t know and yet, somehow inside he felt that he was wrong, that Noah did want what he wanted but that he, Dakota, wasn’t able to make it clear enough, wasn’t smart enough to break past all that so called book stuff. He felt helpless as he realized that he was failing, that all his dreams about what he and Noah could be together were just that, dreams.

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