Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
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together as he answered him. He saw it all and felt a strange sense of awe creeping into him,
and he also felt shame too, because as much as the whole idea of Dakota
doing it with his older brother troubled him, it also made him feel a
strange sense of pride too.
His mind was still reeling from the idea and yet deep inside the small voice kept hammering
at him, forcing him to think, forcing him to listen and to look deep into
Dakota’s face. The defiance in Dakota’s face wasn’t just that, it was
also in a way a sort of pride, a sort of sign that Dakota was saying this is
who I am, this is what I am about, and it confused Noah, because in many
ways it was also telling him that this is what he expected from Noah too and
he didn’t know if he could meet that expectation, if he could rise to that
standard that Dakota seemed to have.
Dakota “Yeah right it was, just like what you and I did, that wasn’t sex, least not to
me; if it were just sex I was into I sure as fuck wouldn’t have stopped
when you said it hurt…”
Noah “That is different.”
Dakota “Why? Just cause you aren’t my brother or cousin? I showed him that he was special
to me, just like he showed me a few years earlier, when I needed to know
that someone out there cared… you have no idea how it can feel to be, to
be this way.”
Noah “I don’t know? Fucking hell I don’t! If I don’t know, how come I have never,
well, you know…”
Dakota “It’s different for you, no one is pushing you to be something you aren’t;
everyone in school isn’t after your ass cause you are some hot shot
jock.”
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