Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
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Dakota “I made love to Montana… before I knew, and…”
Noah’s eyes widened as he heard the words, a strange fear reaching for his heart as the
‘and’ hung in the air, as if to tell him more and he felt angry for a
moment then frightened, wondering just how could Dakota have done it.
Noah “And? And what… you had sex with your brother after? I mean… You?”
Dakota “No, we didn’t have sex. I made love to him, here, on this platform, just
before… just before he… “
Noah "He died? How… I mean… fuck how could you…”
There was no mistaking the anger or the disbelief in Noah’s face. He didn’t know why he
had blurted it out, why he had to try and make Noah understand; but he had
to, at least his heart seemed to tell him. There was so much he wanted to
say, to explain and yet in some ways he didn’t think he should have to. It
wasn’t that he was ashamed either,
Montana
was special to him,
Montana
had done things for him and protected him too, he owed him that and more,
and all he had ever wanted had been taken from him, until now. Now he
thought there might be a chance at what he and Montana had talked about, had
dreamed about and yearned for. It was too late for Montana, AIDS had seen to
that, but maybe there was a chance for him, but looking at Noah’s face his
hope seemed to quiver, seemed to fade as he saw the shock registering across
Noah’s face.
How do you explain something that you yourself don’t quite
understand? What he and Montana had done, it wasn’t sex, not like everyone
thought and it wasn’t like either of them had forced it, it was something
that, well that happened at a time when they both needed that intimacy, that
special connection that being together in that way brought them both. How
could he tell Noah about it when he still didn’t quite know
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