Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
Reserved
nothing to alleviate the deep sense of shame he felt inside or the deep fear he was feeling.
Every part of him felt like it simply wanted to crawl under a rock and hide
from Dakota's gaze, and yet he couldn’t even stop himself from staring
into that warm wonderful face, that face that had captivated him earlier or
the look that had melted his heart. He was hooked and he knew that all of
his plans, all of his dreams to make this a special weekend for Dakota had
suddenly been blown apart by his weakness, by his lack of strength to suffer
the pain of entry.
Noah’s body shook as he felt the tears rolling faster down his face and he heard himself
sobbing as he shook, standing there naked with Dakota’s hand firmly
wrapped around his ankle. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to as the
grip was too powerful for his thin body. He didn’t have the muscles nor
the will to struggle as he stood there crying and feeling utterly lost.
Everything he had wanted was there, everything he had ever dreamed about was
about to begin happening and he had blown it, he had ruined it by being a
coward, by begging for Dakota to stop when he should have bit his lip and
taken it, ignored somehow the excruciating pain that had lanced upwards into
his whole body as his rectum was slowly being ripped open by Dakota’s huge
pole.
The harsh pain that he had been feeling was still there, a bit dulled as his body adjusted
but it still felt it even though Dakota had pulled out, had stopped and it
made him feel even more ashamed, knowing how much Dakota wanted him and how
much he had disappointed him. There
was no hiding from the guilt he felt as he stood there, waiting for Dakota
to say what he knew was coming, to tell him that it was all a mistake and
that it was all over. Everything was gone in that brief moment when he
thought he couldn’t take another second of the screaming pain that had
filled his young virgin body and had screamed for Dakota to stop. It was all
over and the emptiness began to eat away at him as he stared at the grass,
seeing the deep green blades shimmer and blur from the tears that filled his
eyes. Noah couldn’t take it anymore, his body was too riddled by guilt as
he slowly lowered himself to sit on the cool grass, his head now buried deep
into his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably.
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