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Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
Reserved

Rachael.”
Rosalie “Okay Rachael, I am Rosalie, care to come this way and we can start?”
Rachael “Yes, uh, thank you.”
Rachael followed the slightly shorter woman towards the back of the shop, her eyes taking in
the slow even gait of Rosalie and she noticed how her shoulders sagged a
little, almost as if there was some invisible weight on the lady’s back
and she knew instantly that Rosalie knew about her boy, and she wondered if
she too would look like that, or would it pass for her, was Noah really that
way? Maybe it was just that he was curious, maybe that was it, in which case
maybe all this would pass but somehow. Seeing the way Rosalie moved, she
knew that there was a lot more to all this than she had imagined. Fear took
hold of her as she sat in the chair, staring at her own reflection and that
of Rosalie’s in the full-faced mirror. Rosalie was asking her something,
she saw the lips moving but the words were meaningless as the fear and panic
rose up, shutting off her ears and closing her mind. Her face grew sombre
and grey as she just stared, nodding a little trying to summon up some
hidden source of courage but failing as Rosalie smiled at her, a smile that
somehow made Rachael feel helpless, feel even a bit angry too.
Her heart was beating a thousand beats a second and the roar was filling her ears as she
swallowed, struggling with the emotions that were running in and out of her
mind. She wanted to just jump up and head home, to leave all this and ignore
it; but, in her heart, deep in her own soul, she knew she couldn’t leave
it, couldn’t ignore it and as the first spray of warm water hit her head,
she knew that she had to say something, that she had to somehow find out the
truth. Her eyes grew cloudy, the fear taking hold of her and her silence
only was more repressive, more depressing as she felt Rosalie’s hands
taking her hair in her hand, holding it out, asking just what it was that
she had wanted.

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