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Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
Reserved
The frown grew on his face as he remembered how surprised he was to suddenly turn around and
see Rusty standing there. There was something about the guy that made him
wary, and yet everyone at the new school kept saying how nice Rusty was, but
he could see something that they didn’t, which was his eyes, the way they
looked past you at times and other times the way they seemed to just pierce
you, trying to find out things he had no business wanting to know. He felt
clammy as he walked towards his locker, to put away his red apron that he
had to wear when on the floor. He saw that it was nearing time to get it
washed again and for a second or two he thought he should maybe take it home
but then he remembered Noah was coming and he doubted if he’d have the
time to do any laundry before his next shift.
Standing at his locker, he saw the small photograph pinned to the inside of the locker door,
the image of two smiling faces peered out at him and his heart began to ache
once more, tears welled up near the corners of his eyes as he looked at the
picture, seeing his own smiling face and wondering if he’d ever feel that
happy again, knowing that the hole inside would never truly ever be filled,
even if he did find someone. The other face stared at him, a hint of a smile
on his face, a glint even in his eyes and Dakota felt pain even more as he
looked into Montana’s face, seeing him as only he could, and he felt the
loss even more now than when he had seen the last rise of Montana’s chest.
He sat down on the wooden bench, feeling the pain taking hold of his body, feeling it
constrict his muscles and make him shake a little. The sight of that
afternoon rising upwards to fill his vision, the bed with the curtains drawn
around and his parents standing off to one side, his sister at the foot of
the bed and he at the other end. He could see the way his brother’s sunken
eyes looked at them all and even in those last few minutes, he was defiant
almost as he stared at them, then the small smile came and he could even now
hear his mother’s cries as she held his hand and then the surprise
registered again as he saw his fathers face, the tears rolling down his
cheeks and the deep gut wrenching sobs as he cried, bending down and kissing
Montana’s forehead, wiping the sweat soaked hair back, looking into his
eyes and his mouth moved but no words would come and yet as Dakota watched,
he could see that at last there was peace between Montana and his father.
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