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Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
Reserved

wasn’t them but him that she was worried about.
He had refused the money but she had insisted, saying it was from tips she had saved up and
then she had blown him away as she wanted to know if he had condoms. How the
hell did she know about that stuff and yet he knew the answer even before it
was framed in his mind. How could anyone in their family not know about
condoms these days, and he sighed, wishing for a moment that things could go
back to simpler times, when all he worried about was skinning his knee
playing catch with Montana and his dad. Funny how determined she was to know
the answer too, and she wasn’t satisfied until he had shown her the small
packages in his night table, and only then was she satisfied. She told him
the money was to buy his friend something, to maybe get some snacks for
later and he felt her love then, knowing how hard it was for her too. They
had hugged each other for several minutes in the morning and he knew that he
would not spend the money, well at least not all of it.
Thinking about it he wondered what Noah would think once he saw their house. It wasn’t a
bad home really, even though everyone worked the place was clean and it did
have a sort of warmth to it, but it had a great deal of sadness too. Maybe
Noah would see it and run, just like he wanted to that night he saw
Dakota’s naked body but then he was coming tonight, so maybe there was
hope? He felt uneasy, wondering if he was doing the right thing or was he
just feeling sorry for himself again? He shook his head a little, trying to
toss away all the fears and doubts that he was feeling, wishing that he
could talk to Montana but there just wasn’t time for that, not today as he
was working till 3:30 and Noah was coming here, to the mall at 4pm so there
just wasn’t time. He sighed, knowing that nothing would change anyways,
that no matter how much he hoped it would, it just wasn’t going to and he
stood up, draining the last drops from the can and then headed to the store,
to get his nickel for the can and to get back to work. Whatever else had
happened, at least he knew that he could survive just about anything, but
was that really something he wanted to know at 16?
Rosalie Northwood was checking the appointment book at the
desk, and she had seen her son sitting there, so alone,

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