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Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
Reserved
1:34 p.m.
He stared out at the parking lot, sipping his cold can of pop and watching the people as they
rushed around the lot. Some where leaving, others arriving and yet they all
seemed to be in a hurry, always walking a little bit faster, always tugging
on the kids arms, hurrying them along and he wondered why? They really
weren’t going to get anywhere all that quicker, they weren’t going to
miss any big bargain if they were a few seconds longer in getting into the
stores, so why the rush? Funny, he used to do that, run all the time but
that all changed now, and he felt the loneliness creep back inside. His hand
tightened on the can, feeling the soft aluminium sides giving to his
pressure and his eyes were blank as he felt that hitch come back to his
throat, that little nagging itch that really wasn’t an itch, but a
reminder.
His dark hair flowed around his face as the wind kicked up a little, a bit of chill in the
afternoon’s air but he hardly noticed it as he stared out at the parking
lot, seeing nothing of the people anymore, instead thinking back to when
things were different, when he wasn’t this empty, this alone. There were
times, like now, when he thought he could still feel Montana’s breath on
his cheeks or hear his laughter as they threw the football around the back
yard. He could even hear his father’s voice booming on a Sunday, calling
them to come watch the game on television but all that was gone now, his
father was rarely home, working as many hours as he could get in, his mother
spending the weekends doing things that would normally have been done during
the week if she hadn’t been at work till 7 or 8 each night.
Dakota dug his hand into his pants pocket, pulling out the
ten-dollar bill, a gift from his sister and he felt the tears coming,
wishing them back, desperate to hold onto his composure. Strange how she had
been able to read his mind, to know that he was feeling scared and yet in
her own way, he knew that she too was scared. The way she had silently
entered his bedroom this morning, standing quietly next to his bed until he
finally sensed her presence and woke up to see her. She had looked so scared
that for a minute he thought that something was wrong with his mom or father
but as she handed him the folded money, speaking softly he knew it
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