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Gay Book 'The Locker'

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that he would never be totally happy.

Funny, looking at himself this way, he noticed how his hand had crept down into his jeans, how his fingers were already running along his hard cock, and it was more like instinct than anything else at how much he really wanted to be with Dakota, under any terms, any conditions. Maybe it was like his head kept saying, that he was just horny and wanted to get fucked or maybe it was like he felt inside, that it was something special, that there was more to being with Dakota than just getting laid, that maybe those little glances, those little smiles were more than a come on, were a signal of something much more?

His resolve grew stronger as he looked into his own eyes; saw the doubts but also the desire. He pulled his hand out from his pants, and looked deeply at his reflection, deciding that this time, he’d let the voices deep down have their way, ignoring the pleas of his mind. As the decision grew within, he felt a strange sense of calm come over him and he walked out of his bathroom to stare over at his unkempt bed, still able to see Dakota’s silhouette on top, the way he had been when he had waked up Tuesday morning, the way he had felt and Noah breathed in deeply, smelling that strange sweet fragrance that was Dakota. It was unnerving how he could still smell it, and even though his mom had washed and changed the sheets he could still smell him, as if it was a scent that now belonged to him.

As much as he hoped and prayed he still felt the twinge of nervousness inside as he surveyed his room, wondering what it would be like to be sharing all this with someone else. The dream that he had and that Dakota seemed to also have was still fresh in his mind, it was something he couldn’t shake and even though his thoughts started out differently each night since, they always came back to that, to the two of them in a small room, only a bed in the room but it felt right, it felt as if it was where he belonged. He shuddered a little, feeling the stiffness in his groin and the itch in his buttocks.

 

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