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Gay Book 'The Locker'
Copyright © 2004 • All Rights
Reserved
he did jerk off now? Hell it was early enough, still, if he did and then what would happen
later, would he still be able to or worse, would he maybe shoot early again,
or maybe not at all? He had heard about that, that some of those who did the
porn took forever to cum because they did it so much, or at least that was
what Marvin had said, but he always came up with weird little comments.
Noah knew it was crazy to be this way, that he would do okay, or at least he kept telling
himself that, telling himself that Dakota wasn’t the type to make a big
deal out of him being a rookie, and he had shown he cared, least he thought
he had, or was he just being nice? Was all this just that, was it that maybe
Dakota had been lonely or was it what he had thought? Thinking back he could
still see the way Dakota would smile at him, a sort of smile that said more
than just ‘hi’ but then maybe he was doing his normal routine, making
mountains out of molehills? His mother sure seemed to think he did a lot of
that, so did his dad but then it had been ages since they had been his age,
besides things were different these days.
Looking at the mirror and seeing his expression, he wondered why Dakota even bothered with
him? He wasn’t good looking, his hair didn’t look great, his face was
thin and angular even, his nose was way too small and hell, his ears were
more like a girls than a guy’s, so why the fuck would Dakota want him? It
just didn’t make sense unless it simply was that he was available, that he
was ‘one’ that Dakota knew about. Maybe if he found some one else better
looking he’d have cancelled, but it wasn’t easy to find that kind of
stuff out, so maybe that was why tonight was still on?
Looking at his reflection he could feel the doubts raging
inside, his mind continued to keep on throwing up things, to harp on his
imperfections that he knew were glaring and yet somehow, deep inside the
voice kept telling his mind to frig off, to take a hike and as it spoke, his
heart kept beating stronger with anticipation and desire. Funny how suddenly
he could feel all this turmoil inside, all this sort of confusion and yet
deep down he knew that tonight was important, that it was something special
that would change his whole life. He knew inside that if he chickened out as
his thoughts kept urging,
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